I wish I could say this is a passing thought
I wish I could say you never cross my mind
That’s not the truth.
I’m an open book, through and through.
I struggle with flashbacks,
never welcome, always present
falling down the rabbit hole of nostalgia
Do you really deserve this though?
me… sitting here,
year after year,
journaling my heart, and you…
always you.
I’ve made so many changes
All in an attempt to forget
cleaning, hiding, throwing away
Everything that might remind me of you, of us.
the ghost of you still lingers.
this means nothing anymore,
coming from me;
I wish it did.
The simple truth…
I’m doomed to crave you forever.
You’ll always be my check list come true.
Its hard to imagine a world where I could
love anyone more than I loved you.
And yet, since you…
I’ve found myself, a better self.
I never want to lose this side of me,
the truest version of me.
unfiltered, unrestrained.
Would you love me still?
I’m not ready to let go of me,
I wouldn’t be this new me
or ever get to be
without your part in this story.
Forget the mess.
Forget the outside perceptions
When I pause the vilifying of you…
It always comes down to
I know you, you know me — entirely
what else do we need?
do you still ache for me
the same way I do?
I wish I could flip a switch…
I’ll always want you.
Good times or bad times…
It’s always been you.
I wish this wasn’t true
I am… indisputably, yours.
Always, my heart will beat for you.
